The Case for Atelier Crenn

Background: 
Here’s the deal:

• Atelier Crenn has two Michelin Stars. It should have three.

• It was left off of this year’s World’s 50 Best Restaurants list, and it should have placed in the top ten (we have eaten at four of the top ten—including number one—so we are not speaking from ignorance).

The world of fine dining is still in many respects a “boy’s club,” and we believe Dominique Crenn’s culinary artistry has not yet received the recognition it deserves. Scallionpancake is here to change that.

We are going to go a step further, in fact: Crenn’s dishes are more inventive, more flavorful, and, most importantly, more reflective of her passion than those we tasted at EMP and The French Laundry. At the aforementioned restaurants, we felt that the chefs were resting on their laurels and relying on their famous names in many respects. Perhaps because Crenn’s reputation does not yet precede her, she is making food that keeps diners on their toes and showcases a cuisine that blends creativity and taste in a way that places her quite firmly in our top five restaurants (she is still below Noma, but not far below).

Soooo excited. And perhaps a bit underdressed. But San Francisco is a walking town, and we definitely walked to dinner. Hence the sneaks.

If you’ve seen the Netflix Chef’s Table episode on Atelier Crenn, you know that Crenn created her Marina District San Francisco restaurant as a tribute to her father, Allain. Together with her mother, he introduced Crenn to a wide variety of cuisines at a young age. In her 20s, Crenn moved from France to San Francisco to begin her restaurant career.  In 2011, she opened Atelier Crenn and received two Michelin Stars that same year. In 2015, she opened the smaller, slightly more casual Petit Crenn, and this year she opened Bar Crenn right next door to Atelier Crenn, which serves wine, cocktails, and small plates. In 2018, Crenn won the James Beard Award for Best Chef in the Western Region of the United States.

We dined at Atelier Crenn in May 2018 and enjoyed the spring tasting menu. We didn’t see Crenn on our visit, as she was on vacation, but she is in the restaurant most nights of the week, so you are likely to catch a glimpse of her in action when you go.

Eat This: 
Once seated, each diner is presented with a poem that is a menu in disguise. Each line is a coded lyrical verse that hints at the dish to come. We had so much fun trying to figure out what type of dish was coming based on the poem, though we only guessed correctly for a couple (we knew the “Royal Lady’s fruitful labor” was referencing a honey bee. That’s about it).

Let us take you through our poetic and awe-inspiring meal at Atelier Crenn, in the form of Crenn’s verse and culinary prowess:

Kombucha

Okay, okay, The first course doesn’t correspond to the poem. But the kombucha apertif was a delight. Delicious, cool, and refreshing.

Spring has come with its cool breeze

Kir Breton

The first course that corresponds with the poem. If you’ve seen the Chef’s Table episode on Crenn, this dish features prominently. The ingredients in a Kir Breton cocktail (crème de cassis and dry cider) are enrobed in white chocolate. You pop this in your mouth all at once, and the cool and sweet flavors explode. Such a strong start, and it deserves its place as Crenn’s signature dish.

See this most adored gift from Neptune, an aureate bloom

Geoduck, Sea Urchin, & Citrus

Have you ever had geoduck? We hadn’t. It’s a large clam, portioned here along with the sea urchin to look like a beautiful flower of sorts. The texture of the clam and sea urchin on the rice cracker was divine.

This came out in a cloche filled with dry ice, so the presentation was as exciting as the taste.

Warriors ashore bathe in a rosy glow as luminous as its gilded crown

Prawn, Seaweed, & Whey

The most exciting thing about Crenn’s food is the way she plays with textures and flavors. Each bite feels unexpected, and there are approximately 35 experiences happening at once inside of your mouth. That’s what she said?

The circle of consommé and the inner circle of whey each added layers of flavor to this dish.

To bury in fallen leaves my treasures of the earth and sea

Seed & Grain

Smoked buckwheat, quinoa soil, smoked trout roe (bottarga), and smoked sturgeon pearls with a warm bonito dashi broth. This course was rich and comforting.

From the wintry mist, tender specks on the meadow begin to stir

English Pea & Mint

One of our favorite dishes. Early spring peas were mixed with beads of frozen crème fraîche. Tableside, ham broth was stirred in. This was spring in a bowl—the flavors were bursting with freshness and the mix of crunchy textures made every bite a revelation.

As if awoken by shimmering pearls and ashen cloud

Caviar, Buckwheat, & Koji

Caviar and gold leaf: how could this be bad? Served with lacy buckwheat crackers, this course was fun to eat and the flavors were perfectly rich.

Brioche & House-made butter

No verse for bread?! We shall write one:

“Oh bread, for you my heart beats”

Alternate verse: Brioche with butter? Enough said.

Butter-dipped radishes

Another one that is not part of the poem, but wow, wow, wow. I love the radish, butter, and salt combo, but Crenn took it to a new level by enrobing the entire radish in the slightly sweet butter. Every other butter/radish duo will pale in comparison to this.

Hidden beneath the bluffs an armored gent listens

Abalone, Cabbage & Smoked Crème

This was one of the only dishes we weren’t floored by. We liked it, but it wasn’t super memorable. Moving along.

To the snowy stillness of soft swimming creatures

Striped bass, Boudin Noir, & Morel

The best part of this course was that you got to choose your knife from a box of assorted knives a waiter brought around. I always loved '“choose your own adventure” books, but choose your own cutlery was nearly as fun.

You may have noticed that there is no meat on this menu. Once we had this course, I wasn’t missing it at all. The sea bass was meaty and so rich. I felt very satisfied, but Jason wouldn’t have hated a bit of red meat.

While the ephemeral beauty born of jade effervescence sang

Matcha Tea Service

Matcha mixed with bone broth. Could Crenn get any more au courant with this course? I dug it. A more creative palate cleanser than stodgy old sorbet, thats’s for sure.

For the verdant bounty of the gatherer’s harvest in caring hands

Onion Royal & Comté

A very satisfying and warming cheese course. Not a standout when looking back at the entire meal, however.

Dessert: 

From the Royal Lady’s fruitful labor a dulcet offering

Honey, Sapote, & Pollen

The verse we guessed! Honey! The bee pollen magic shell on the honey ice cream was super fun and majorly tasty.

As the drifter rests, in reverie of days ahead

Coconut & Pineapple

A rich, creamy, dreamy, coconut pineapple mousse inside of a chocolate shell.

In Scallionpancake’s opinion, the dessert course is a major weakness at many fine dining restaurants (we’re looking at you, EMP), and Atelier Crenn’s offerings blew us away. This coconut had so many lovely texture and flavor elements (chunks of pineapple are hiding inside of the mousse), and the portion was large enough to leave us satisfied. This dessert was the absolute best we’ve had anywhere.

Spring has come and is full of sweet surprises

Mignardises

A real cacao pod! What could possibly be inside?!

Sweetness, bounty, thanks

An assortment of fabulous chocolates, that’s what!

My favorite was the peanut butter one on the right—it was essentially a next level PB Crisp (PS-sign the petition to bring back PB Crisp! It’s my life’s cause).

Drink: 
Neither of us did the beverage pairing, but we each got two drinks. Jason enjoyed mocktails, while I indulged in the most glorious champagne. Cheers!

Non-Alcoholic Gin & Tonic

Tasted just like a real G & T. Seriously amazing. Stocked by the Seedlip brand.

Atmosphere: 
Crenn’s father’s paintings adorn the walls, along with sticks and other natural elements. The entire effect is that you are dining in a cozy bird’s nest. Cozy, indeed—there are only eight tables, making this the smallest fine dining restaurant we’ve ever experienced.

Bird's Nest Hospitality: 
The service throughout the night was flawless, and the servers were very patient and when we asked them to repeat explanations for each dish. Because you know we did.

There was only one snafu, and perhaps this reflects poorly on us, but we feel that Scallionpancake readers deserve to know our truth: we are pen stealers. Gulp. When we dine in fancy, Michelin-starred establishments, we hope and pray that we get a branded pen with our bill (note: even when you pay ahead of time with Tock, you still must pay for drinks the night of), and when we do, well…we take that pen and put it in a v. special faux marble jar from The Container Store. Like ya do, right? Well, Atelier Crenn is the only time we have been called out. When the waiter came back to get our bill after we had signed, he looked inside the envelope and asked if we had the pen! Yikes. We owned up, and said that we were pen collectors (read: thieves), and laughed it off. He wasn’t laughing, but he let us leave with out absconded pen nonetheless. Though we should perhaps feel shamed, we only feel that for a $700+ meal, it really shouldn’t have been mentioned.

Since we are talking cash money, let’s get into the details. Like Eleven Madison Park, Atelier Crenn uses the Tock booking system, which means that diners pay for their meals in advance. We love this feature, as paying for the meal on the night of can be a bit of a downer, so it’s nice to get that pesky part out of the way ahead of time. At the time of publication, each tasting meal is $335 per person, with the tip included. Beverage pairings begin at $220 per person.

Okay, so this is not the outside of Atelier Crenn. But this amazing house nearby caught my eye. It’s a hindu temple with a very cool history. The more you know!

Frankie's Notes: 
Don’t worry, the fabled pen is resting safely on our kitchen counter in its faux-marble home; We will let you come see the pen for $335 per person; We are writing sternly-worded letters to the folks behind the 50 Best Restaurants List, and we are going to sign them all “#MeToo""; Our friend Miriam, who is a mourning dove, dined in a nest every night until she was scared off by a giant raven who ate her bird children; I am currently writing a “choose your own adventure” book that is all about choosing the knife that will ultimately decide your destiny and success fighting against large, chocolate-shell coconut.

Rating: 5 out of 5 + 3 Michigan Pugs

 

Mister Jiu's

Background:
Mister Jiu's opened in April 2016 after a three year renovation of the iconic Four Seas building in Chinatown. The space, built in 1880, has had only three occupants since its original construction, with Mister Jiu's being the current standard bearer. The owner, head chef, and mastermind is Brandon Jew, who worked all over San Francisco and the world, before opening up his dream restaurant in the same space he grew up going as a child (the Four Seas building used to be a banquet hall). Mister Jiu's has received numerous awards and recognition since it opened, including the number three spot on Bon Appetit's Best New Restaurant list for 2017. The restaurant earned one Michelin Star within its first year, and has maintained the star ever since. 

Eat This:
Mister Jiu's menu is traditional Cantonese mixed with San Francisco's obsession with local and fresh ingredients. The menu looks familiar and exotic all at the same time and includes dishes you've heard of, like hot & sour soup, wontons, and fried rice, paired with ingredients you've never thought to combine them with, like Dungeness crab, Monterrey squid, and Wagyu beef. Our suggestion: go with as many people as possible so you can try as much as you can. 

Sea Urchin

Cheong Fun

You've probably had Cheong Fun before, but you probably have never had it with sea urchin on top. The noodles here were P.E.R.F.E.C.T. So soft, but not too chewy. The mixture of the sea urchin with the delicious sauce and the noodles made this one of the best dishes of the night.

Tendrils, Greens and Stems

meyer lemon, roasted garlic, sea urchin

We ordered all of our dishes and then our waiter, (who Yvonne said looks like Clark Gable), told us we should order a vegetable, because you can't just order meat for everything #whoknew. He led us to the tendrils with a Meyer lemon sauce. The tendrils were sautéed and crispy. The acidity of the meyer lemon sauced mixed nicely with the salty, crunchy tendrils.

Wontons

pork, sichuan peppercorn, Monterey squid

The standout dish of the night. The squid, spicy sichuan peppercorn sauce, and the pork wontons were so good. This is a must get on any visit.

Steak Fried Rice

wagyu skirt, crispy garlic, cured tuna heart

We saw this dish on the Fried Rice episode of Ugly Delicious, and we knew we had to try it. The Wagyu beef was amazing, but the rest of the dish we thought could have had a little more flavor.

Liberty Farm Roast Duck

pancakes, peanut butter hoisin, cucumbers

We were told to get the duck by the Internet, and everyone knows that the Internet is never wrong. The duck was served two ways: a traditional Peking style and confit. We ordered a half, which could have fed approximately 1 million people. Of course, we finished about 2/3 of it. because we are champions The winner for me on this dish was the peanut butter Hoisin sauce.

Dessert:
All of Mister Jiu's desserts sounded and looked incredible, and normally we would have ordered three desserts, but we had already had roughly 18 meals this day, so we only ordered their most famous dessert, the Black Sesame Cake. Clark Gable did recommend we get the Frozen Whipped Honey, but sorry, Mr. Gable,  we just couldn't do it.  

Black Sesame Cake

black sesame crémeux, ginger mousse, peanut, tamarind caramel

The key to this dessert was the peanut, which provided a crunch to go with the soft cake and all the other magical ingredients of this dish.

 Drink:
Mister Jiu's has a great cocktail menu, with most of their cocktails containing some form of tea and all of them having fortune cookie-esk names, like Clarity, Tranquility, and Luck. They also have a house made Root Beer, Oolong Kombucha, which we tried but was way too vinegary for our tastes.

Prosperity

vodka, lotus, lemongrass, passion fruit, egg white

Mister Jiu's signature cocktail. How cool is that ying yang design? This baby was smooth and refreshing.

Atmosphere:
As soon as you walk into Mister Jiu's you know you're in a cool place. It reminded me a lot of the rooftop restaurant of the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong, with a traditional imperial, yet modern vibe. The restaurant is situated two stories up from Grant Street, the main street of San Francisco's Chinatown. You enter from an almost secret street a block up, so you feel as if you are floating over Chinatown and overlooking the Transamerica building. But the real show is the open kitchen, where you can watch Jew and the rest of the chefs work their magic. 

The bar up front

The open kitchen

San Franciscan Cantonese Hospitality
Clark Gable was the best waiter we had all trip. He was nice, informative, and answered all the questions we had. The maître d was wearing a blue suit with a Kevin Durant Warriors jersey underneath, which was pretty sweet. It seemed like everyone really enjoyed working there, and it showed through with the great service.

Frankie's Notes:
Whenever there is a fish tank in a restaurant, I want to jump in and save all the fish; I definitely don't have enough tattoos to work or live in San Francisco; For our millennial followers, Clark Gable is a reference to an actor who died in 1960; Yvonne wanted the potstickers so bad since they were on the cover of Bon Appetit, but we went with the wontons and I think we made the right choice. Sorry Bae.

Rating:

5 out of 5 + One Michigan Pug

 

Robin

Scallionpancake Travels:  
San Francisco, California, is a favorite travel destination of ours. Jason frequently has conferences and work events in San Fran, and, naturally, I tag along. Robin is located in super-hip Hayes Valley, which is filled with many great restaurants and boutique shops. 

San Francisco is a great place for fresh sushi and quality Japanese cuisine, as it is home to a large population of Japanese-Americans. Also, many tourists visit Chinatown, as it is right in the heart of the Financial District, but Japantown is hip, super clean, and worthy of your time on your next visit. In fact, Japantown is totally walkable from Hayes Valley & Robin. Insider tip: check out Benkyodo in Japantown for an amazing selection of mochi and manju in a cozy cafe setting.  

Check out my manju

Background: 
Chef Adam Tortosa opened Robin in July 2017 on Gough Street in Hayes Valley, San Francisco. Chef Tortosa previously worked in several well-known restaurants, including Kiwami and Ink in Los Angeles, and Akiko's and 1760 in San Francisco. Robin's concept is innovative in that there is no menu with prices, and no set tasting menu, either. Diners can give their waiter a price point from $79 up to $179 per person, and the sushi chefs will devise a unique menu based on that price, as well as diners' specific preferences. Our waiter asked what types of fish we prefer, and if we were fans of uni. We were assured that even if we weren't fans of uni, that the chef would prepare it in such a way as to make us converts. You may have heard our thoughts on the pod previously about uni, but suffice to say, we fall firmly in the camp of "not fans," but we said we would try at least one uni dish to stretch ourselves. Also, the waiters will let you keep your options open and decide as you go how much sushi you are up to eating. Below is everything we enjoyed--we left perfectly full with this amount of food.

Although they ship in seafood from Japan & Chile, Robin serves as much as local fish as possible. Our waiter explained that there is so much great fish off of the coast of San Francisco that so few chefs utilize, and that Tortosa takes advantage of that proximity whenever possible. 

Eat This: 

Cured local cod

Wrapped in seaweed, served with traditional Mexican-style ceviche with pistachios, pomegranate, lime juice, and microgreens

Assorted Nigiri

Including steelhead trout with peach (middle)

Wagyu tartare

On a toasted nori chip topped with uni and Asian pear

Assorted Nigiri

Closest: Yellowtail, middle: New Zealand King Salmon with tomato confit and whipped tofu, back: Golden Eye Snapper

Toro Tartare

Assorted Nigiri

Sesame noodles with black truffles

With black truffles

Assorted Nigiri

Onsen jidori egg

With shiitake soy sauce, ikura, and wasabi

Smoked caviar nigiri

With potato chip and grilled ramp aioli

Dessert: 
This guy below was good (not great), but we both agreed we wouldn't have hated one more dessert course! This dish was made using sake lees, which is the solid byproduct left over after sake ferments. Pretty cool!

Sake lees custard

with pomegranate and pistachio

Drink: 
Robin offers beer, wine, and sake. We enjoyed sake, and they had an awesome selection of (cold only) sakes. 

Atmosphere: 
The decor was lovely, and Jason particularly enjoyed the modern vibe, like the coral and black backsplash on the sushi bar and the metallic wall. Stand-outs included dishes (and chopstick holders!) made by a local potter, and the bathroom floor, which had tiled inlaid with pennies! Too cool. Oh--and the bathroom had an essential oil diffuser. Can you tell I really liked the bathroom?

That sushi bar, tho/image courtesy of Eater SF

Hayes Valley Hospitality: 
Our waiter was awesome about checking in to check our fullness level and to see if we were enjoying everything. We really loved the pacing of this meal--the courses came out quickly (but not rushed), so that we were done with this meal in under two hours. We were relieved, as we were not in the mood for an extra long tasting on this particular night. 

Frankie's Notes: 
We wanted to bring home the cool pottery chopstick holder, but we reined in our kleptomaniacal tendencies; Uni will never be something that Scalliopancake craves, but Robin made us like it more than we ever have before; Frankie's favorite essential oil scent is cheddar cheese; We always need at least two desserts to feel emotionally fulfilled. 

Rating: 

5 out of 5 plus one Michigan Pug

 

In Situ

Background:
In May of 2016, The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (MoMa) reopened after a three-year renovation. As part of this renovation, the museum also unveiled a new high-class eatery, In Situ. In Situ’s concept is mind-blowing, and perfect for an art museum: they recreate the dishes of famous chefs and restaurants around the world. In Situ, in the art world, refers to an art piece that is made specifically for a certain location. At In Situ in the SFMoMa, dishes are taken out of their original context and recreated for an audience sometimes a half a world away (sometimes not--the menu bounces from Kyoto to right down the street at Mission Chinese). Not only is this such a great concept for the location, it is also a fantastic way to get a sampler of so many different famous dishes from world-renowned restaurants.

Eat This:
In Situ was our first fine dining experience in SF, so we were super excited to go all out.

Check out Hamiltoe's Lily Pulitzer in the background tho

Carrot, Sour Curd, Pickled Pine

Inspired by Matt Orlando from Amass in Copenhagen, Denmark

Of course we had to start with the Copenhagen dish! We had completely missed Amass during our visit, and this is the first time we had heard of it--which is clearly a huge overstep on our part! We were so consumed with Noma (which we couldn’t even get into), that Amass escaped our notice.

The carrot dish was perfectly executed, and it made my top five for 2016. There is nothing better than a well-done vegetable dish that stands alone so well you never once miss the meat. We can’t wait to try and get reservations at Amass the next time we visit Copenhagen.

Jason's obsession

Wasabi Lobster

Mango jelly, thai vinaigrette, wasabi marshmallow

Inspired by Tim Raue from Restaurant Tim Raue in Berlin, Germany

The wasabi lobster made Jason’s top five for 2016, and it was certainly one of the finest preparations of lobster I’ve had. Lobster needs so little--just a little expertise to bring out the natural flavor and tenderness, and the slight spicy/sweet flavor of the wasabi marshmallows did that perfectly, and the texture of the tender lobster and fluffy marshmallow paralleled each other so well.

Maybe this picture is crooked, or maybe that's just your perception of life

Octopus and the Coral

Braised octopus and seaweed (spicy)

Inspired by Virgilio Martinez from Central in Lima, Peru

Whoa, was this dish awesome! Aesthetically the dish is supposed to resemble its title--an octopus hanging out in the coral. Rice crackers are dyed with squid ink which added an element of texture and color. The braised octopus was cooked perfectly and it was rich and heavy--such an unusual flavor profile for a seafood dish. A cup of broth was served on the side--I loved this touch! It was warming and flavorful.

Give me liberty, or just give me duck breast. Whichever

Liberty Duck Breast

French green lentils, apples, aged red wine vinegar sauce

Inspired by Thomas Keller from The French Laundry in Yountville, California

Oh dear, we had problems with this dish both in its real form and its copycat. We had to order The French Laundry staple, especially knowing we would be dining there ourselves in a few days and we would be able to properly compare the two versions. Each version, however, was rather overcooked. Read our full TFL review here.

Do you see the fairy in there?!?

The Forest

Quinoa risotto, mushrooms, parsley “moss”

Inspired by Mauro Colagreco from Mirazur in Menton, France

The Forest came highly recommended by our server, and we were so glad we ordered it. The presentation was so fun, and the aesthetic and taste made you feel like you were really foraging in the woods for mushrooms.The “moss” was a parsley flavored light sourdough, and the variety of mushrooms and flavors going on were just mind blowing. Eating this dish was akin to being a fairy trampling through the forest, and we dug that.

Dessert:

Gold up in my bubbles

Interpretation of Vanity

Moist chocolate cake, cold almond cream, bubbles, and cocoa

Inspired by Andoni Luis Aduriz from Mugaritz in Errenteria, Spain

I mean, bubbles? We had to see what this was all about. Unfortunately, this was a fairly basic chocolate cake, and the best part was the almond cream. You can’t deny the excellence of the presentation, however!

Noma facsimile

Wood Sorrel & Sheep’s Milk Yogurt

Inspired by Rene Redzepi from Noma in Copenhagen, Denmark

This dessert is the closest we have been to Noma (the number one restaurant in the world for several years), and that kind of sucks, but this version of their famous dessert didn’t disappoint. Wood sorrel is a weed with an acidic, slightly sour flavor. Here, the sorrel is turned into a sweet granita and served with a honeyed yogurt with a crisp shell of sugar served atop. Loved this one!

Drink:
When we went, which was right after they opened, they were serving beer and wine only, so Hamiltoe and I drank prosecco. Their menu now includes cocktails, which sound delicious. Jason had some tasty nonalcoholic infusions during our meal, like this hibiscus one:

Hibiscus infusion

Atmosphere:
The vibe in here was in keeping with a modern art museum--clean and minimalistic. The seating was a bit too minimal (read: uncomfortable), but the bar area had awesome seating made out of wood that looked cool, and also more comfy. Also, the silverware looked like paintbrushes!

Do you love it or do you love it?

Artistic Hospitality:
The service was professional and there were no missteps, but the waiters were a bit snooty/hoity-toity, which I never think is necessary just because the category is fine dining--lighten up, people! It’s just dinner.

Frankie’s Notes:
Three dishes from our 2016 top ten are from In Situ, so I guess you could say we enjoyed it; We Googled the silverware while we were at the table and put it on a wish list; Feeling like a fairy while eating is my current and 8th grade self’s goal always; Desserts made from weeds are healthy and delicious; Nonalcoholic infusions < prosecco < tequila.  

Rating:

5 out of 5 + One Michigan Pug

 

Saison

Background:
Chef and owner of Saison, Joshua Skenes opened Saison in 2012, which was initially a pop-up only open a few nights a week. Now, Saison has three Michelin Stars, boasts the #27 spot on the World’s 50 Best Restaurants list, and Skenes has a reputation for getting to the “heart” of his ingredients in a way that goes far beyond “eating locally” (read this article for more on his philosophy)

We went to Saison on our last trip to San Francisco, just two days after our wedding. We were so excited to have some time to ourselves after the whirlwind of the marital festivities and Jason’s work conference that he was attending during the day. We were greeted warmly and given an awesome cozy spot near the bar where we settled in for the tasting menu.

Eat This:

Infusion of herbs from our garden

Starting with an herbal infusion is a lovely and light way to begin; it forces you to breathe deeply and focus on the meal that’s about to come. The practice feels meditative and lovely, and more restaurants should adopt teas and nonalcoholic infusions as an accompaniment to food.

Succulents from the coast

Saison Reserve Caviar

I don't want to say that Saison peaked too soon (did I just say it?), but this course was perhaps the highlight of the entire experience. One pound of caviar is wrapped in seaweed and smoked over a fire, and the servers unwrap the seaweed table side and serve atop toothsome succulents. The caviar alone was worth the cost of admission (well, almost), and had us giddy about the rest of the meal.

Lobster marigold

The claws x.o. sauce, Farm flowers, Golden berries

Oh, man! Lobster?! Golden berries??!! These are a few of my favorite thingggsss. This course was the start of using a single ingredient for each course and presenting it in several different ways, using every portion of the animal or ingredient and mining it for all of its possibilities.

Lobster Tail

Here we had a lobster tail (one portion was from a male lobster, one from a female lobster), claws, served with a tangy accompaniment of golden berries (also known as dried gooseberries), and lightly fried farm flowers.

Sea urchin on grilled bread

A perfect piece of Tartine bread soaked in an elixir of soy, milk, and egg yolk topped with a piece of uni. Whoa, was this combination mind blowing--the soaked bread and the uni have similar textures and the soaked bread is tangy--we really loved this one.

Monterey Bay abalone

with its liver and preserved artichoke broth

A red abalone in a wakame, artichoke, and liver sauce with capers. This was not our favorite, but was delicious nonetheless.

The whole radish & our butter

This dish is a prime example of how Saison uses their farm plot and their dairy cows to create dishes that are simple and focus on freshly curated ingredients. Radish, prepared all different ways, and clarified butter poured over the entire dish upon serving.

Pumpkin hung above the fire for a few days

Whoa, was this take on pumpkin mind blowing! The pumpkin hung above the fire was lactofermented and tasted meaty--if you didn’t know it was pumpkin you wouldn’t have guessed! The torn pumpkin was much like pasta, and the cultured pumpkin with cold pressed seeds tasted rich and fatty.

Torn pumpkin barbecued octopus

Cultured pumpkin cold pressed seeds

Hairy pig

Sweet herbs, Buttermilk herbs, A bouillon made of the bones

The heaviest dish, and one of our favorites. You could make a little pork sandwich with the biscuits, which were the most delicious part! I loved the inclusion of bone broth, which was a warming and healthy way to end the savory courses.

Dessert:

Smoked Sundae

Caramel cooked in the fireplace, Fancy nuts

This dessert was Jason’s favorite dish of the night--the smoky vanilla ice cream elevated the flavors and kept everything from being too sweet. Adding the perfect amount of nuts and caramel to the sundae was a fun (and delicious) way to end the meal.

Fruit & Tea

Orange Sorbet

Just when we thought it was over, we ended the night just as we began, with a delicious herbal infusion and this super fun orange sorbet, served in an orange!

Gold-Leaf Dipped Chocolates

Gold-leaf dipped chocolates were also brought out with this course--talk about a grand finale!

Drink:

Dessert Cocktail

The cocktails were beyond impressive--our favorite was the bourbon concoction served in this tiny pipe, which the bartender told us is often used for absinthe as it helps diffuse the flavors.

Atmosphere:
Cozy and dimly lit, Saison had a romantic atmosphere. Our favorite part was the soundtrack--they played the best 80s beats all night. This kept the atmosphere fun and not overly stuffy as fine dining can often be.

C'est ne pas une pipe

Like the best Christmas present ever

Michelin Hospitality:
The service was impeccable, as you would expect. There was team service, and sometimes the chef brought out a course, which was awesome! We also had a great chat with the bartender--everyone was kind and helpful.

Frankie’s Notes:
Bojangle’s is going to start serving herbal infusions before and after chicken biscuits; Frankie wants more caviar in his life and less Ollie; Golden berries are the most underrated fruit; A grand finale of desserts doesn’t even need fireworks; Eating Michelin Star food and listening to “Jessie’s Girl” is an experience we should all have; Jason drinking out of a little pipe is the image I want to have of him in my head for always.

Rating: 5 out of 5 and two Michigan Pugs

 

State Bird Provisions

Listen up fools: we apologize for the three month hiatus. We spent the last three months planning to get married and then doing just that. We've done a lot of eating in that time that we've been saving to post, so put on your stretchy pants and buckle up for the ride.

We got married...sorry no blog :(

Background: State Bird Provisions opened up in 2012 by husband and wife duo Stuart Brioza & Nicole Krasinski. State Bird is credited with starting the "dim sum" trend of having dishes pushed around on pull carts, outside of traditional Chinese fare. The restaurant has won many accolades, including Bon Appetit's Best New Restaurant in 2012, a James Beard Award, and one Michelin Star. It is also known for being extremely hard to get into, so when we strolled up at 9:00 pm on a Tuesday we thought we'd have to wait for an hour or so. Luckily we got it right away because of a cancellation. The hostess said the best days to walk in are Mondays and Tuesday. 

Please Note: Hamiltoe (of Hamilton & Sons, LLC) accompanied us on our journey to State Bird so when it looks like we were ordering for 8 people we were actually ordering for 3, not 2, thank you!

Eat This: State Bird has a small menu with a few regulars - most notably the CA State Bird (see above), which is deep fried quail with pecorino and some other magical accouterments. This is a must get, so go ahead and mark this off your list. They also have a whole section of their menu dedicated to toast and... wait for it...pancakes!!

DO NOT MISS THE PANCAKES OR YOU WILL REGRET THIS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. The one on the menu the night we went was sourdough, sauerkraut, pecorino, & ricotta. 

Dip the pancake in the magical dust and don't ask questions.

Just when you think you've figured out the menu and what you want, then the "dim sum" carts start coming. And I swear to the ghost of John Ritter, each one looks better than the next. The first one to come out was an avocado and smoked trout dip with house made potato chips. Imagine the best smoked trout you've ever had served with your all-time favorite potato chips. Then multiply that by 10 and that is what we ate. 

Potato chips & smoked trout with avocado dip

Next up were some raw salmon rolls with mint and radishes in a yogurt sauce. State Bird is known for accenting Japanese style dishes, but adding their own signature flare. This dish was a nice cool complement to the salty, hot potato chips.

Raw salmon with mint and radishes in a yogurt sauce

Our favorite dish of the night might have the Yuba Americana, which was tofu skin shaped like chanterelle pasta with guanciale, pecorino, and basil. The taste of the yuba was amazing, and if it were 1995 and we didn't have internet on our phones we would have never known we were having tofu and not real pasta.

Yuba Americana with guanciale, pecorino, and basil

We had a few other dishes, including the carrot "mochi" with brown butter & pistachio dukkah, the heirloom tomato salad with quinoa crunch, and oysters. All of which were amazing, which just goes to our point: you literally can't go wrong here. There is nothing on the menu that isn't amazing.

Dessert: If there is one thing you should know about Javon by this time, is that we love dessert. Naturally we were thrilled by their wide selection of exotic fruit and flower based desserts. The stand out was the hazelnut "ice cream" sandwich with chicory macron, lemon condensed milk, and strawberries. We also got the coconut-lavender panna cotta with askinosie chocolate crunch and a fig, the stone fruit granita with vanilla bean tapioca, peaches, and smoky tea gelee, and last but not least, the world peace peanut muscovado milk.

Hazelnut ice cream sandwich (closest), stone fruit granita (in bowl on right), world peace peanut muscovado milk (in glasses), and coconut-lavendar panna cotta (in clear dish).

Drink: State Bird serves wine and beer (a huge selection), plus a great selection of teas and house made sodas. Jason tried the samovar iced tea with crushed oolong and yuzu simple syrup and gave it two gorilla thumbs up!

Atmosphere: The atmosphere at State Bird is quirky and fun. There are weird UFO pictures on the walls and dotted tables. It feels like a fun, crazy parade with all the dim sum carts going in and out of the kitchen.

Golden State Hospitality: There is a lot of interaction with the waiters, since they are walking around with carts explaining the different dishes they have. They do team serving, and everyone was extremely helpful with a great sense of humor. 

Dim sum cart (The guy at the table across was really intrigued)

Frankie's Notes: If I got in a fight with a quail, I'd probably win; Sometimes you walk into a place and actually get a seat; I wish I could be pushed on a dim sum cart for the rest of my life; Don't ever tell someone they are eating tofu unless they ask; Sometimes magical dust is 100% legal and 150% delicious; Maybe one day you will be a stranger eating across from us who is featured on the blog--dream big! 

Rating: 5 out of 5 with 2 Michigan Pugs

Et Cetera:
State Bird Provisions
1529 Fillmore Street
San Francisco, CA 94115

http://statebirdsf.com/

 

The French Laundry, part 2

Did you read part one? Check it out here!

The French Laundry. It really needs no introduction, but if you would like one: The French Laundry has been named “Best Restaurant in the World” by numerous lists, won beaucoup James Beard awards, and has maintained three Michelin stars since Michelin started reviewing US restaurants in 2006 (I mean, they are no Michigan Pugs, but they are still pretty important). Anthony Bourdain is the man who got me into food, back when I read Kitchen Confidential in 2006, and the man, the myth, the legend himself named it: “The best restaurant in the world, period.” Basically, any person who loves food wants to eat at The French Laundry.

TFL is owned by Thomas Keller, food god extraordinaire. In addition to TFL in Yountville, he owns Per Se in NYC and Bouchon, also in Yountville. He is the currently the proud owner of seven Michelin Stars, when you add these three restaurants together. TFL is where you die and go to heaven, if heaven is a place filled with all variety of cooked duck and terrines and caviar (this heaven is clearly not a heaven for ducks or fish).

Okay. Where were we? Oh yes, our butts are in the fancy TFL cushions, and we are introduced to our spirit guide Gareth, who explains the menu options to us and lets us peruse the fancy ipad wine menu. They use team serving here, so Gareth wasn’t our only server, but he was our main guy. Like many places in CA, TFL does not serve hard liquor. I mean, it’s wine country, so I get the focus on wine, but I was really surprised when TFL and Chez Panisse did not offer cocktails at all. So, we all ordered some wine. I got a sparkling wine, Hamiltoe (Lorin, for the rest of this post, for the sake of being classy around French food) got a Chardonnay, and Jason got a Bordeaux. The cheapest GLASS of wine was $35. Gulp. We don’t know anything about wine, but it was good. It tasted like $35-45 worth of delicious tannins and ABV and leggy mouthfeel...and stuff. Moving on to the food.

The menu arrives personalized to us (“Congratulations to Yvonne and Jason”...our special event, remember?! We added "& Lorin" in sharpie) and describes nine delicious sounding courses. Some of the courses are the only option, and some have a choice of two items (sometimes for an upcharge). Obviously, we all go for the Chef’s Tasting Menu with the meat options, but the Vegetarian Tasting Menu also looks delicious. These are the only two menu options, but we hear a patron at another table asking for a lot of modifications, which the waiter handled with panache. The restaurant will apparently accommodate requests, even when they appear to be beyond all reason. The lady in question had a litany of allergies, ranging from beets to cucumbers to melons--what? Yeah, we eavesdropped. Deal with it. Every day, the options on these two tasting menu change to reflect what is fresh and available. Also, fun facts: no single ingredient is repeated from one dish to the next on a day’s menu, and most of the vegetables are sourced from their own garden on the property.

The menu is very classic French--it is not overly inventive, although it does have some creative options and mild instances of molecular gastronomy. In other words, you would not compare its to The Funky Gourmet--the menu is more traditional comparatively.

Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Amuse Bouche:

These two Amuse Bouche dishes do not change daily, and that’s a great thing, as they are both fantastic. A Salmon Tartare Coronet was the first to arrive: a light and crispy cracker cone filled with creme fraiche, chives, and smoked salmon.

The second Amuse consisted of three piping hot gougéres--light bites of savory pastry blended with gruyere cheese. Delicious! We were giddy with excitement at this point. Bring it on!

First Course

Oysters and Pearls
“Sabayon” of Pearl Tapioca with Island Creek Oysters and White Sturgeon Caviar

Or

Royal Kaluga Caviar ($60.00 supplement)
Alaskan King Crab, Bantam Hen Egg Mousse, Toasted Brioche, and Preserved Horseradish

The Oysters and Pearls is TFL’s most famous dish, and of course we couldn’t miss it. This dish stays on the menu while all the others rotate out. All three of us ordered this, so we can’t speak to the crab/caviar option, but this dish is perfection. The dish comes with the traditional pearl caviar spoon, nestled in a baby dish within two other dishes. The presentation is at once simple and striking.

The sabayon is light and smooth, and the texture of the tapioca, small oysters, and caviar create the most wonderful combination of flavors and mouthfeel. The sabayon has a hint of vanilla, but it’s not sweet, nor strictly savory. The flavor of the oysters and caviar shine through, and it is as though you are tasting each individual flavor as well as the combination. I know, that’s a lot to take it. Basically it tastes like a pug sitting on a cloud weaving gelato out of gold thread while singing your favorite song. We were all completely silent during this course, and the eating was not merely eating--it felt like we were having an experience. We are in  one of the most renowned restaurants in the world eating their most famous dish, and we took a moment to soak in the moment. Honestly, this dish alone is worth the cost of admission.

Second Course:

Garden Cucumber Salad
Hawaiian Hearts of Peach Palm, Sicilian Pistachios, Brokaw Avocado, and Tender Garden Herbs

Or

Hudson Valley Moulard Duck Foie Gras “Terrine” ($30 supplement)
Jacobsen Orchard Peaches, Garden Pea Shoots, and Whole Grain Mustard Creme Fraiche

For this course, Lorin and I opted for the salad, while Jason went for the foie gras. Interestingly, the salad was also basically a terrine, as the bottom layer of cucumbers were jellied, with the other ingredients artfully placed atop. I loved this dish, but Lorin was not quite as impressed. I found it light and flavorful, and the blend of smooth jelly and crunch from the fresh vegetables made for an enjoyable take on a salad course.

The foie gras, however, was the better choice here. Its flavor was unmuddled and without any hint of gaminess. The pairing with the peaches was brilliant and brought out the sweetness in the foie gras. At this time, our server brought the bread course, and Jason was given brioche--the perfect accompaniment to the foie gras. Lorin and I chose the sourdough, which is honestly a standout item of the whole evening. The bread is served with farm fresh salted and unsalted butter from Animal Farm in Orwell, Vermont. The foie gras comes with a variety of six sea salts, but Lorin and I definitely broke the rules and experimented with them with our bread and butter. The table favorite is the volcanic salt (the black one).

Third Course:

Sauteed FIllet of Atlantic Striped Bass
Littleneck Clams, Hobbs’ Bacon, Summer Squash, Opal Basil, and Brentwood Corn “Velouté”

The bass is the only option for this course, and while none of us were the most excited for this course, it definitely exceeded our expectations. The fish itself was buttery and flavorful, and it was the perfect size--just enough to leave you wanting more. They kindly swapped out the corn in my dish for a tomato puree.

Fourth Course:

Stonington Maine Lobster “A La Barigoule”
Kettle Garlic Ravioli, Globe Artichokes, Chantenay Carrots, Nicoise Olives, Garden Chervil, and “Barigoule Emulsion”

The lobster was obviously a dish we were psyched for (when is one not psyched for lobster?), and, to be perfectly honest, this is where this review gets difficult, as we were not overly impressed. The flavors were rich, and the emulsion was flavorful, but we all found the lobster chewy and overcooked. We had just had a delicious lobster dish at In Situ a few nights prior, and all we could think of was the buttery, melt-in-your-mouth quality of that lobster compared to this one. It’s not that we didn’t enjoy it--we did. It was just not the caliber of what we expected going in, or from the bar set by the previous dishes.

Fifth Course:

Liberty Farms Pekin Duck
Slow Roasted Garden Beets, Vanilla Infused Sour Apple Purée, Belgian Endive, and Foie Gras “Mignonette”

Or

“Macaroni And Cheese”
Hand-Cut “Macaroni,” Roasted Chicken Wing, Romaine Lettuce, “Parmigiano-Reggiano, and Shaved Australian Black Winter Truffle ($125 supplement)

The duck is a signature TFL dish, so we eagerly anticipated this course. We had tried a copycat version at In Situ, and we were looking forward to try the real deal. The mignonette was served atop the duck, and the fat from the duck liver soaked into the meat to create incredible flavor. However, once again, we found the meat tough. I know, I know--this sounds crazy and improbable. I promise we are not overly difficult to please (maybe difficult, but not overly so), and we didn’t want this scenario to be the case, but it simply was. All three of us were in agreement--this dish was good, but not “blow your mind good,” and we were unanimous that the duck was overly chewy--tough to cut and tough to chew.

We had some regret about not ordering the truffle mac and cheese, but at this point we needed to not add to the price tag of the meal.

Sixth Course:

Charcoal Grilled Snake River Farms “Calotte De Boeuf”
Saucisson “En Persillade,” Early Girl Tomato Confit, Sungold Tomatoes, and “Bearnaise Gastrique”

Or

“Rognon de Veau a la Diable”
Marcho Farms Veal Kidney, Garden Romano Bean, Frisée Lettuce, Bean Blossoms, and “Sauce Dijonnaise”

The calotte is the cut of meat that is wrapped around the ribeye. This dish was delicious--the meat was cooked perfectly and the tomato confit was so sweet and and paired perfectly with the savory meat and bearnaise sauce. The square of sausage served alongside was fatty and rich--we all really enjoyed this dish.

Here’s the strange thing, though--I actually ordered the second dish, the veal kidney. I had never tried veal kidney, and I felt like this would be the time to try it! Lorin and Jason ordered the calotte, but all three of us received this dish. We were all surprised at the mishap...surely these things do not happen at a restaurant of this quality? But they do, of course, and everyone makes mistakes. We didn’t have the heart to tell our server and make a fuss, and the plate was perfection, and one of my favorites. So, it was no hardship to let this go.

Seventh Course:
 

Andante Dairy “Acapella”
K&J Orchards Figs, Pearson Farms Pecans, and Garden Honey

The cheese course consisted of Andante Dairy Farm’s Acapella goat cheese in a savory rind. The cheese was paired with a buttery, honey flavored madeline. The fig and pecan brought out the sweetness in the cheese, and the madeline added another dimension of texture and flavor. We all really enjoyed this course. Of course, we were getting full, but we couldn’t stop now...it was dessert time.

The menu states “Assortment of Desserts,” and boy, is that an understatement. They should call it an "Assault of Desserts.” It comes fast and furious, and it is overwhelming, but in a great way (I mean, it’s dessert, there is no bad overwhelming when it comes to quantity).

The first dessert was an almond cake paired with strawberries and topped with edible flowers. The cake had a lovely almond flavor, and it was light and easy to finish, despite how full we were. Paired with the cake, they served a caramel pretzel ice cream, which Lorin and Jason loved.  

Next came a chocolate bar atop a marsala tart. We were not crazy about this one. The chocolate had a deep dark chocolate flavor and a fudge consistency, but the tart was the let down--we thought it may have been a pop-tart situation, but it was not filled with anything, and the marsala flavor was basically non-existent. There was nothing wrong with this dish overtly, but it was not worth eating when we were so full and so many desserts were still coming out.

Next was another famous TFL dish, the Coffee & Donuts. The coffee was a cappuccino semifreddo--the base was a creamy coffee mousse topped with cappuccino foam, and the donuts were fluffy cinnamon sugar donut holes. This was such a cute and exciting course--we really were marveling over the novelty of this dish, and we were slightly giddy from the sugar high. I nearly finished the semifreddo despite how full I was--it was so delicious.

In rapid succession from the above courses, we were brought raspberry macaroons and chocolate covered macadamia nuts. Despite how delicious these look, they went mostly untouched and were boxed up to go.

Then, our server brought around a fancy wooden box filled with an assortment of gorgeous chocolate truffles. We each got to pick one, although we had the feeling they would have let you have more if you really wanted one, but we were already uncomfortably full. These were very good, and the presentation added another special element to the dessert course.

Whew. And then we were done. As they were boxing up the final remnants of our uneaten desserts, we soaked in the atmosphere for the last few moments of our meal.

When the check came, we expected to be floored, but we also knew the exact amount to be floored by. And once we looked everything over, we were surprised to see we were overcharged...by the cost of one extra tasting meal (ie, uh, hundreds of dollars). Well, this is awkward. Of course Gareth was so apologetic and quickly fixed the error. We really felt for our server--he was such a nice guy and we could feel his embarrassment. Again, not a big deal and mistakes happen, but at this point we were surprised to have two such large mishaps at a world class restaurant.

Finally, they send every guest home with buttery shortbread to enjoy for breakfast the next morning as a sweet reminder of the night before. Also, Executive Chef David Breeden signed our menu so we could take it home as a keepsake--they do this for all guests visiting the restaurant to commemorate a special occasion. We asked if Thomas Keller was in that night, and we were told he wasn’t, but that he still comes in fairly regularly to ensure everything's running smoothly.

And that, friends, is our experience at The French Laundry. Did we love it? We absolutely did. Did we think it lived up to all of the hype? No, not exactly. Lorin, who had never been at a Michelin Star restaurant, felt this way, and both Jason and I, who have been to a few, felt similarly. It is cool to say you have visited TFL, and it is definitely a top culinary experience and I am so glad we got the chance to go. However, Jason and I didn’t feel it stood up to The Funky Gourmet, or Jason’s visit to Eleven Madison Park. The Funky Gourmet, for example, really challenged our perceptions of food and made us excited for new takes on favorite foods, flavors, and creative presentations (see--the picnic course, or the snails dish). There, we also experienced only the most impeccable service, delivered 100% smoothly without any hiccups. TFL didn't have to be more "different" or creative to impress us--we just felt they didn't execute even the classic dishes in a way that justified the price tag. Are we complaining about our visit to TFL? Hardly. Would we go back? In a heartbeat. Was it the best meal we have ever had? No, not for any of us. Lorin felt she had better food at other places in San Fran, which we will be writing up soon!

Frankie’s Notes: Eavesdropping at restaurants is a new hobby; Frankie will now only order $35 glasses of wine and will throw anything cheaper right back at your face; When Lorin eats caviar she is Lorin, when she eats pizza she is Hamiltoe; I would like to name a greyhound Gareth and ride it around The Shire; More restaurants should serve you 37 desserts that you then get to take home and eat the next day; When will I get to try veal liver?

Rating: 5 out of 5 + 1 Michigan Pug

Et Cetera: 

6640 Washington Street
Yountville, CA 94599
Monday-Thursday: 5:30-9:15
Friday-Sunday: 11am-1pm 5:30-9:15pm

http://www.thomaskeller.com/tfl

 

The French Laundry, part 1

Looking for part two? Find it here!

Here it is: the long awaited post on The French Laundry. We found out that our friends and family had no patience for the belatedness of this post--and for that we apologize. We have been very busy making up songs about pugs and working on our ukulele duet for the wedding. Also, watching football and The Real Housewives (Jason’s thoughts--thanks a lot Graham Gano; Yvonne’s thoughts--when can I travel to Glamis and go four-wheeling?).

Blogging is hard and takes time away from the television 

Well, going to The French Laundry turned out to be a bit of a saga, so let’s start at the beginning.

March 2016--We find out we are going to San Francisco and desire a visit to TFL. We do research and see that you cannot get reservations until 30 days out. We wait. We stalk Thomas Keller on Instagram.

July 16, 2016--At exactly 30 days out, we set alarms on our phones to begin calling TFL right when they open (11:00 am PST, 2:00 EST). We have no luck at all getting through on the phone lines--it is busy all day long. We feel defeated. We refresh OpenTable. We stress eat.

July 17, 2016--We put on our Google hats and figure out that, as with most things in life, rich people do things differently (#liberalelite #newyorkvalues). Proud owners of an American Express Black Card can use their personal concierge service to snag a reservation at TFL for special events. Jason’s Aunt Lynn has a Black Card, and we have a special event (our engagement--it is still special to us almost one year out, ya know? Sure. Whatever it takes). So, we call Aunt Lynn and ever so sweetly ask her to help us out. She ever so sweetly agrees.

We are coming to the party, American Express!

July 31, 2016--Aunt Lynn calls Jason and tells him not to embarrass her by failing to wear a suit or by being late. THIS IS FORESHADOWING.  

August 12, 2016--We leave on a jet plane for San Fran with Hamiltoe (see previous post for more Hamiltoe backstory). We feel majorly excited for all the food we are going to eat, but I still overeat on the plane, because I love plane snacks and being on a plane makes me starving. It is my body’s primordial sense that I am going on a journey and will need great amounts of fuel to sustain me. On my past life I traveled the Oregon Trail (I didn’t make it the whole way; I broke 73 wagon wheels and got dysentery). I eat a bag of goldenberries, three servings of Goldfish, and two (okay, three) cookies. We land and go get dinner in Chinatown. Oh, and a pre-dinner bubble tea. I feel very full. Hamiltoe discovers she does not like bubble tea. We feel she is mistaken in this belief. 

Tapeworm City 

August 15, 2016--We have eaten a lot of things. Now we all feel full. I have felt full since Friday. We are talking the kind of overeating where you wake up still full and disgusted with yourself. We eat a lot this day anyway, because the food is really, really good everywhere you go and what if we never come back here or taste these things again? We walk our way right into the hottest restaurant in San Fran right now, State Bird Provisions. No reservation, no wait. We are so freaking thrilled and we eat our faces off some more.

August 16, 2016 9:00 am--To prepare for our journey to Napa in the evening, I go and get our rental car and take it on a Dangerous Hike Alone (my hobby-copyright pending). I drove in CA and, for the first time, terrorized those on the West Coast with my driving skills. Marin County is beautiful and I drive up a mountain and go above clouds. I think that I would like to never leave here and the temperature is 65 degrees. Jason and Hamiltoe are enjoying the final day of the Xero Conference. They network and get swag. We plan to convene at 4:30.

August 16, 2016 4:30--We all meet on time and are ready to leave by 5:00, our agreed upon time. We feel pretty great about ourselves. We are fancy and going to a fancy place and we are actually not as full as usual because we finally didn’t eat four meals before dinner in preparation for this night. We are leaving at 5:00 for a 7:00 reservation, and Google Maps says it will take an hour and thirty  minutes to get to Napa from our AirBnB in San Fran. We are on time. We are responsible.

August 16, 2016 4:45--We are in gridlock traffic. Not the kind we are familiar with in Charlotte, where you can occasionally move the car forward in the direction of the place at which you wish to arrive. The car is not moving. It does not move for 30 minutes. I start freaking out pretty hardcore, and Hamiltoe gets to witness Freak Out Yvonne. I try to save her for family and Jason, but she comes out.

August 16, 2016 5:45--We are still in downtown San Fran. Lorin and I have taken numerous milligrams of xanax and I have been ordered to do a crossword to calm down and stop bothering the other passengers (namely, Jason and Hamiltoe).

It's fine. 

August 16, 2016 6:00--We are still in *&%^!@# downtown San Fran. The possibility of missing the 7:00 reservation seems very real. We decide that someone should call. We decided the person should be Hamiltoe (Hamiltoe had nothing to do with this decision).

August 16, 2016 6:15--We are actually moving on the highway headed to Napa, but the reservation is in 45 minutes and we are still pretty much an hour and a half away because we managed to drive one and a half miles in an hour and fifteen minutes. Hamiltoe calls and we find out she has the nicest speaking voice of all time. She is a champ. She explains our predicament, and the Powers That Be are very accommodating. “Absolutely, so will you be here around 7:15, then?” “Um. Actually closer to 8:00.” Note that not even this ridiculously late hour is the true time we will get there. They say “See you soon.”

August 16, 2016 6:23--Spirits are lifted and traffic is still moving! The Xanax is kicking in hard! We sing along to the Backstreet Boys and Adele. Star 101.3 is the bomb. We bond.

Here's the mail, it never fails

August 16, 2016 8:25--We arrive at The French Laundry. The building is a quaint house located on a residential street with other houses. The kitchen is an adjacent house, and you can see the chefs working as you walk in the door. No one makes us feel weird about being the rudest people on the planet, but we are seated upstairs right next to the bathrooms. We are not sure if this was always our slated location, but we are grateful to be sitting where we imagine famous butts have sat. Seriously. Think about it. My butt might have sat where Obama or Barbra Streisand's butt sat. WHOA.

Photo courtesy of Travel & Leisure Magazine, as we were too busy sprinting inside to get this picture

To be Continued...

Read part two here!

Frankie’s Notes: When you are late all the time, but then ONE time you try REALLY hard not to be late but are still late = major life fail; We are wondering what else Aunt Lynn’s Black Card can do; We really bonded with Hamiltoe over prescription drugs and pop music; Crosswords are proven to ease anxiety by 41%; Having a good phone voice like Hamiltoe is my life goal; Ollie’s favorite famous butt is Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s.