The Updog Kombucha Origin Story

Olivia Wolff asked us to write an article on Updog Kombucha in exchange for a sick purple t-shirt. How could we say no to that? Instead of a lame article, we decided to write a short one act play in Shakespearean English. Feel free to read in a British accent.

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A London Bar in the past

WILLIAM:

My Lady!

MARGARET:

My Lord!

WILLIAM:

I herald news not of your liking.

MARGARET:

Oh, Lord!

WILLIAM:

 ‘Tis Arthur. I am afraid his health and temperament have turned.

MARGARET:

Alas, I have feared such news for some fortnights.
My Arthur!
Why doth your health forsake thee?
Our love, in its spring and full of life.
Yet your illness stains the day.
By Jove, may this be a test?
For we shall not allow the King nor God
To cometh between our brave souls.
My William, ‘tis the prognosis?

WILLIAM:

‘Tis grim, my lady.
His gut doth protest too much.
The doctor, aged and wise
Has not viewed nor heard
Of a case this vile and less of hope.
My lady, my heart cries of sadness
To bring such news to thee. 

Lady Margaret begins to sob.

BARTENDER:

Friends, I suggest to thee a potion
From the Orient doth come.
Its power, witches envy;
Its magic, Merlin desires.
Your lover, deep in sorrow
Hope, forsaken thee.
Bring him to the brewpub
For his life is the stake.
’Tis the one last option
For your love, the risk is worth.

 William scurries out of the bar to go and retrieve the ailing body of Arthur.

 MARGARET:

Barkeep, this far east potion,
Of whose magic I doth hope,
Can save my lover’s biome
And thus, our future!
Doth it have a name? 

BARTENDER:

The shaman that delivered it
Hath named the potion Kombucha.
Of Japan, it’s origin

 MARGARET:

Dearest Kombucha!
May thy delivery to my lover
Remedy for his sickness.
So, once more, happiness doth cometh
In our house and in our hearts.

At this moment, Arthur is brought in on a stretcher, mumbling incoherently, William by his side.

MARGARET:

My Arthur!

WILLIAM:

‘Tis Grave.
Barkeep, deliver thy potion.  

BARTENDER:

Doth he prefer Mojito,
Or doth he prefer Hibiscus? 

MARGARET:

Give thee both,
For only god knoweth the preference.

The bartender drops in Arthur’s mouth two drops of each Kombucha. With each drop, Arthur’s body shakes dramatically. 

WILLIAM:

Up, my Arthur, my dog!

MARGARET:

Methinks his life has vanished.

 They all begin to leave the bar, with grave sadness. Then they hear a faint stirring.

BARTENDER:

Halt, thy friends!
Tis Arthur, his soul has vanished not!
Look! The ‘boocha’s magic
Has doth life brought back to thee.
A great miracle upon thy bar,
A life, doth saved.

 ARTHUR:

My Margaret!

 MARGARET:

A great miracle!
Even St Paul is shocked.
The Kombucha saved thee, my lover.
A great debt I doth owe to it.

ARTHUR:

We must spread thy word to all
Of the powers of the Boocha.
For my life is one,
Yet I shall dedicate myself
To the health of mine countrymen.
They shall all know the powers
This potion doth undertake.

 MARGARET:

A life together shared,
Full of love and full of drink.
To save thine with bacteria
Our health, we are sure to thank.

They embrace and curtains close.

And thus, Arthur and Margaret spent the rest of their lives spreading the good word of Kombucha, and a few years later Updog Kombucha is born.

Charlotte All Stars - NBA Edition

This week, Charlotte welcomes the NBA for All Star Weekend. Half of Scallionpancake is a huge NBA Fan. The other half does crosswords at sporting events. We’ll let you guys figure out which is which. But I digress. In honor of the best in basketball coming to the Queen City, we wanted to give our city’s visitors a guide to the restaurant scene in and around Uptown – but with a twist. Here’s a list of some of some of our favorite places within a 10 minute Uber/Lyft drive of Spectrum Center that have vibes similar to our favorite NBA All Star Starters.

Lamb Neck from Bardo

Lamb Neck from Bardo

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Lebron James:

Bardo

AL BELLO/GETTY IMAGES

The best player in the NBA deserves the best restaurant in Charlotte, and that’s Bardo. Take a cab down Mint Street, just a few minutes from Uptown, and enjoy the best meal Charlotte has to offer right now. They are only open for dinner, and you’ll probably want to get a reservation.

Reservations or Call 980-585-2433


Address: 1508 Unit B, S Mint St, Charlotte, NC 28203

Brunch Spread at Haberdish

Brunch Spread at Haberdish

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Kemba Walker:
Haberdish

Image Courtesy of Sports Illustrated

The hometown hero represents the quintessential Charlotte restaurant, Haberdish. They’re serving up down-home southern cooking like your mom wishes she could make. If you’re from out of town and looking for a Southern meal, this is the spot for you. They don’t take reservations, so get there early or be prepared to wait a bit.

Address: 3106 N Davidson St, Charlotte, NC 28205

The pork belly tacos from Soul Gastrolounge

The pork belly tacos from Soul Gastrolounge

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Joel Embiid:
Soul Gastrolounge

Image CSNPhilly.com

Joel Embiid is cool, hip, and wants to date Rihanna. There is no place cooler than Soul Gastrolounge. Rich Cho, the Hornets former GM, gave the the pork belly tacos at Soul a 5 out of 5, and we couldn’t agree more. Hang out under the peacock and try to find your own Rihanna. No reservations are available; however, they are on Yelp’s No Wait app.

Address: 1500 Central Ave, Charlotte, NC 28205

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Giannis Antetokounmpo: SIGGY’s Good Food

Photo: sportingnews.com

Giannis is from Greece, and Siggy’s serves the best Mediterranean style food around. Also we call Siggy the Jewish Greek Freak (okay that’s not exactly true). If you’re looking for a healthy breakfast or brunch after a night of partying in Uptown, take the short uber to Siggy’s and fuel yourself for the day ahead.

Address: 1001 Belmont Ave, Charlotte, NC 28205

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Paul George:

Loft & Cellar

Photo: Sports Illustrated

Paul George needed a change of scenery from Indiana to OKC to regain in mojo. The same can be said for Loft & Cellar, who hired Scallionpancake heartthrob Greg Collier to reimagine the struggling restaurant’s menu. Not only did Collier turn the restaurant around, but he made it one of our favorite places Uptown. Go there for brunch or dinner, either way you won’t be disappointed. If you want something more casual, head over to 7th Street Market for Collier’s other restaurant, The Yolk.

Reservations or call 704-817-9057


Address: 305 W 4th St, Charlotte, NC 28202

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Steph Curry:

The Stanley

Photo: USA Today

Rumor has it that I held Steph Curry to 30 points in one game at Dell Curry’s basketball camp at the Jewish Community Center in the summer of 1999. Whether those rumors are true or not, what’s 100% fact is that Steph is an original Charlottean. Paul Verica was the first in Charlotte to really focus on local, farm to table ingredients at his old restaurant, The Heritage. Now he’s moved his digs to Elizabeth and rebranded to The Stanley, where you can get the best local farm to table offerings in the city. The atmosphere is homey and welcoming, but it’s really small. You’re going to need to make reservations.

Reservations or call 980-299-2741

Address: 1961 E 7th St, Charlotte, NC28204

Lamb Lollipops: Image Courtesy of  FunnyLove Blog

Lamb Lollipops: Image Courtesy of FunnyLove Blog

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James Harden: DANDELION MARKET

Photo: Yahoo Sports

James Harden has been known to like his share of clubs, and there’s no better place to have a meal and party than Dandelion. Go have a nice meal on the first floor and then make your way up to the top floor for some dancing and good times. Our favorites are the cherry-glazed lamb lollipops and the sliders.

Address: 118 West 5th St,Charlotte, NC 28202

Homemade Energy Bar and Blue Cheese and Parmesan Truffles

Homemade Energy Bar and Blue Cheese and Parmesan Truffles

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Kyrie Irving: Lincoln’s Haberdashery

Photo: Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

Kyrie knows how to get buckets from every angle around the rim. Lincoln’s Haberdashery knows how serve great food of almost any variety – from breakfast, to amazing sandwiches, homemade ice creams, and all of their pastries. I could also see Kyrie hanging out in the upstairs room checking out Lincoln’s Mary Todd tattoos. Lincoln’s is a great lunch spot if you’re looking for a fresh sandwich or salad and you need a place to relax and have a quick All-Star regroup.

Address: 1300 South Blvd Suite S, Charlotte, NC 28203

Octopus, Scallops, and other magic from the Asbury

Octopus, Scallops, and other magic from the Asbury

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Kawhi Leonard:


The Asbury

Photo: Sporting News

Kawhi plays in Toronto, one of the best food cities in North America. He also has an aura of class and seems to like the finer things in life, as taught to him by his old coach in San Antonio, Gregg Popovich. The Asbury, located in the Dunhill Hotel, is serving up some of the best, most creative dishes in Charlotte. Also, their pastry Chef, Miranda Brown, makes some of the best desserts in town.

Reservations or call 704-342-1193

Address: 235 N Tryon St, Charlotte, NC 28202

The spread at Sweet Lew’s

The spread at Sweet Lew’s

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Kevin Durant:

Sweet Lew’s BBQ

Photo: Sports Illustrated

Kevin Durant went to the University of Texas in Austin, where they have, in my opinion, the best BBQ brisket in the country. Sweet Lew’s is the closest thing Charlotte has to that beautiful Texas meat. They even slice it right in front of you, just like they do in Texas. Get the brisket or chopped pork, and then be prepared for a nice long nap.

Address: 923 Belmont Ave, Charlotte, NC 28205